AITA for telling my 16-year-old daughter she’s a waste of my money because she’s only average-looking and average-intelligent?

Oh boy, folks, this one hit me right in the gut. We've got a truly contentious post today that has sparked some serious debate across the internet. The title alone is enough to make you wince, bringing up the painful topic of parental expectations and the emotional toll they can take on children. Get ready, because this story dives deep into what happens when those expectations clash with reality.
This AITA submission comes from a parent who seems to be struggling with their investment in their child's future, or rather, the perceived lack of return on that investment. It's a raw look at the pressures parents sometimes feel and the utterly devastating ways those pressures can manifest. We're going to unpack this one, but fair warning: it's not an easy read. Let's get into the nitty-gritty.

"AITA for telling my 16-year-old daughter she’s a waste of my money because she’s only average-looking and average-intelligent?"




Parenting is undoubtedly one of the hardest jobs out there, filled with boundless love, endless sacrifices, and, at times, immense frustration. It's natural for parents to want the best for their children and to hope they succeed. The desire to provide opportunities, whether through education, extracurriculars, or even cosmetic improvements, often comes from a place of genuine care and wanting to equip them for life's challenges.
However, the language used in this particular interaction crosses a very clear line. To explicitly tell a child they are a 'waste of money' because they don't meet a specific standard of beauty or intelligence is deeply damaging. Children are not investments from which parents should expect a tangible 'return.' Their worth is inherent, not conditional upon their achievements or appearance. Such words can shatter a teenager's self-esteem and create lasting emotional scars.
While the parent's frustration over perceived unfulfilled potential or financial strain is understandable, it doesn't justify verbal abuse. Communicating concerns about effort or appreciation for opportunities needs to be done constructively and empathetically. Labeling a child as 'average' or 'mediocre' only serves to tear them down, making them feel inadequate and unloved for who they are, rather than inspiring them to improve.
Furthermore, the idea of tying a child's value to their looks or intelligence sets a dangerous precedent. It teaches them that their worth is external and performance-based, rather than rooted in their character or intrinsic qualities. This can lead to a lifetime of insecurity and a constant need for external validation. It's a critical moment for this parent to reflect on the true meaning of unconditional love and support.
The Internet Weighs In: Can a Child Ever Be a 'Waste of Money'?
The comments section for this post absolutely exploded, and it's no surprise why. The overwhelming sentiment is strongly against the original poster, with many users expressing shock and anger at the harshness of the words used. It's clear that the idea of equating a child's worth to a financial investment resonated negatively with the vast majority of our readers, highlighting a fundamental disagreement with the OP's perspective on parenting and unconditional love.
Many commenters emphasized the lasting psychological damage such statements can inflict on a teenager, pointing out that 'average' is perfectly normal and acceptable, and that a parent's role is to support, not to critique based on perceived financial returns. While a few users tried to offer some understanding of the parent's financial frustration, even they agreed that the delivery was completely out of line and harmful. It's a powerful reminder of the impact our words have.





This heartbreaking story serves as a stark reminder of the immense power of a parent's words and the delicate balance between encouragement and criticism. While the desire for a child's success is commendable, attaching conditions of 'return on investment' to their inherent worth is a dangerous path. Let's hope this parent takes the strong feedback to heart, understands the depth of the hurt inflicted, and prioritizes repairing their relationship with Elara, focusing on unconditional love and support rather than performance metrics. It's a tough lesson, but an essential one for all of us.









