AITA for planting “evidence” so my wife loses her job and stays dependent?
Welcome back, dear readers, to another dive into the murky waters of human relationships and ethical dilemmas. Today's story comes to us from a user who has presented a situation so fraught with controversy, it's bound to ignite a fiery debate. We're talking about a level of manipulation that could send shivers down your spine, all under the guise of 'maintaining dependence.' Grab your coffee, because this one's a doozy.
The poster, 'Mark,' has openly admitted to a plan designed to intentionally sabotage his wife's career. His stated goal? To ensure she remains reliant on him, thereby preserving a dynamic he seemingly prefers. This isn't just about a disagreement; it's about active, premeditated interference in another person's professional life. We're talking about a significant betrayal of trust here, and the AITA community is surely going to have strong opinions.
"AITA for planting “evidence” so my wife loses her job and stays dependent?"
My wife, Sarah, recently started a new job as a project manager at a tech company, 'Innovate Solutions.' She's always been ambitious, but after our second child, she took a break, and for a long time, I was the primary earner, which I honestly enjoyed. I liked being the provider, the one she leaned on. Now that she's back in the workforce, especially in such a demanding role, I've noticed a shift. She's more confident, more independent, and frankly, a bit too focused on her career for my liking. It feels like I'm losing her, or at least, losing the dynamic we once had.
I’ve tried talking to her about it, gently suggesting she might be overworking herself, or that maybe a less demanding role would be better for our family balance. She just laughs it off, says she loves the challenge, and that it’s good for us financially. I don't care about the extra money; I care about her needing me. So, I started thinking. What if she *had* to slow down? What if her job wasn't an option anymore? I came up with a plan to 'help' her lose it.
I work from home often, and Sarah occasionally brings work home. She leaves her laptop open sometimes, or her work bag unattended. I've used these opportunities. I've subtly altered documents on her work computer, changing minor details in reports or project timelines, making them look like mistakes on her part. I've also 'found' sensitive company information on our shared home printer that she supposedly 'forgot' to shred, making it appear she's careless with confidential data. I'm making sure it's not catastrophic enough to ruin her career completely, but just enough to cause serious issues, maybe a demotion or a firing, so she’d have to scale back or take a less demanding role.
My intention isn't malicious in the sense of wanting her to suffer; I just want things to go back to how they were. I want her to rely on me, to see me as her rock, not just another person in her busy life. She's such a brilliant woman, she'll land on her feet, but hopefully, with a job that doesn't make her so independent. I haven't told anyone about this. I know it sounds bad, but I truly believe it’s for the best, for our marriage and our family. AITA for taking these steps to ensure my wife stays dependent on me?
This post immediately raises significant ethical red flags. The poster, Mark, explicitly states his intention to sabotage his wife, Sarah's, career for his personal gain – specifically, to re-establish a sense of dependence. This action isn't a passive disagreement but an active, deceptive manipulation. The deliberate alteration of work documents and 'planting' of sensitive information constitutes a serious breach of trust, not just in the marriage but potentially in professional ethics too. It's an act that could have severe consequences for Sarah's professional standing and reputation.
From Mark's perspective, he feels a loss of connection and a shift in their marital dynamic. He misses being the primary provider and the one his wife 'leaned on.' While these feelings are valid emotions to experience, the method he's chosen to address them is unequivocally damaging. Instead of communicating his insecurities or negotiating a new balance within their relationship, he's resorting to covert operations that undermine his wife's autonomy and career aspirations. This avoidance of direct communication is a core issue.
Sarah, on the other hand, is completely unaware that her partner is actively working against her. She believes she is pursuing her career goals with the support of her family, only to be betrayed from within her own home. If Mark's plan succeeds, she will not only face professional setbacks but will also experience a significant emotional blow, potentially losing confidence and trust in her own abilities. The long-term damage to her self-esteem and future career prospects could be immense, entirely orchestrated by someone who claims to love her.
The core of the conflict lies in the disparity between Mark's desire for a specific marital dynamic and Sarah's pursuit of personal and professional fulfillment. While maintaining a strong marital bond is important, doing so by stripping a partner of their independence through deceit is a dangerous and ultimately destructive path. The AITA community will likely have a strong verdict on whether Mark's actions are justified by his underlying feelings of insecurity or if they cross an unforgivable line of manipulation and betrayal.
The internet weighs in: Is 'Mark' a misguided husband or a manipulative villain?
The comments section for this post is exactly what you'd expect: a complete firestorm. The overwhelming sentiment is one of disgust and strong condemnation for Mark's actions. Users are nearly unanimous in declaring him the AITA, with many calling his behavior abusive and incredibly manipulative. The idea of sabotaging a partner's livelihood for personal insecurity has truly struck a nerve with the community, highlighting the sanctity of trust and respect in a marriage.
Several commenters pointed out the sheer selfishness of Mark's plan, emphasizing that he's prioritizing his own comfort over his wife's happiness, career, and financial independence. There's a strong theme around the 'betrayal of trust,' with many suggesting that if Sarah ever found out, their marriage would be irrevocably broken. The comments serve as a powerful reminder of how deeply people value a partner's support for their aspirations, not their suppression.
This AITA submission has undoubtedly sparked a crucial conversation about trust, manipulation, and partnership dynamics. While Mark's feelings of insecurity are perhaps understandable on a human level, his chosen method of addressing them is unequivocally destructive. The overwhelming consensus from the community is clear: sabotaging a partner's career for personal gain crosses a severe line. It serves as a stark reminder that true partnership means supporting each other's growth, even when it challenges existing comfort zones, rather than resorting to deceit to maintain control. What do you think Mark should do now?
