AITA for telling my 19-year-old daughter she’s not allowed to go to college because she’s too stupid to succeed anyway?

Oh boy, do we have a doozy for you today! The title alone is enough to make most parents gasp, and it plunges us headfirst into one of the most contentious areas of parenting: supporting (or not supporting) your child's dreams. This isn't just about college; it's about a parent's perception of their child's abilities and the lengths they'll go to 'protect' them, even if it means tearing them down.

This post brings up so many critical questions about parental responsibility, emotional support, and the delicate balance between guidance and control. Is it ever okay to crush a child's aspirations, especially when they're on the cusp of adulthood? Let's dive into this incredibly challenging situation and see where the lines might have been crossed.

"AITA for telling my 19-year-old daughter she’s not allowed to go to college because she’s too stupid to succeed anyway?"

This post really hits on the tension between a parent's desire to protect their child and the child's right to self-determination. From the parent's perspective, there might be genuine fear: fear of financial burden, fear of their child experiencing failure, or fear that their daughter isn't choosing a 'practical' path. These concerns, while understandable, often get overshadowed by the delivery.

However, the language used here is undeniably harsh and crosses a line from constructive criticism to deeply damaging personal attack. Telling a 19-year-old they are 'too stupid to succeed' is not only incredibly cruel but also deeply undermines their self-esteem and ambition. Education is not solely about securing a high-paying job; it's also about personal growth, critical thinking, and exploring passions, which a liberal arts degree certainly offers.

Furthermore, college isn't a one-size-fits-all experience. There are community colleges, scholarships, and various financial aid options that can alleviate the burden the parent fears. The daughter's enthusiasm, even for a path the parent disagrees with, should be met with guidance and support to explore options, not outright dismissal and insult. A parent's role includes fostering resilience, not creating self-fulfilling prophecies of failure.

Ultimately, while the parent might believe they are acting in their daughter's best interest, the method chosen here is likely to cause irreparable harm to their relationship and to Chloe's self-worth. There's a profound difference between expressing concerns about a chosen path and completely shutting down a child's aspirations with demeaning language. Open dialogue and exploring alternatives would have been a far more constructive approach.

The Verdict Is In: Was This Parent Over The Line?

The comment section for this post was, predictably, a firestorm. The overwhelming majority of readers sided with Chloe, expressing outrage at the parent's choice of words. Many users highlighted the psychological damage such statements can inflict, emphasizing that a parent's role is to uplift, not tear down. The concept of 'tough love' was debated, with most agreeing that this situation leaned heavily into outright cruelty, not genuine care.

There were strong opinions about parental control versus allowing children to make their own mistakes. Several commenters shared personal stories of parents who discouraged their dreams, leading to long-term resentment. The consensus was clear: while financial concerns are valid, there are always better, more supportive ways to communicate them than resorting to such demeaning and hurtful language. This post truly ignited a passionate discussion.

This AITA post serves as a stark reminder that words have immense power, especially when spoken by a parent to their child. While parental concerns about finances and future success are valid, the way those concerns are communicated can make all the difference. Crushing a child's spirit in the name of 'protection' often causes more harm than any perceived failure ever could. Let's hope this family can find a path forward, prioritizing healing and open, respectful communication over hurtful judgment.