AITA for telling my husband his deep voice drops during sleep are creepy and I want him to see a doctor?
Welcome back to another edition of 'Am I The A-hole?' where we dissect the tangled webs of interpersonal conflict. Today's story brings us into the most intimate of spaces: the bedroom. What happens when something seemingly innocuous from your partner starts to invade your peace and, frankly, creep you out? Sleep issues can quickly unravel even the strongest relationships, creating tension where comfort should be.
Our Original Poster (OP) is grappling with a very peculiar sleep phenomenon from her husband. It's not snoring, it's not sleep-talking in a normal sense – it's something she describes as 'deep voice drops' that are making her genuinely uncomfortable. She’s at her wit's end and has made a firm request, which has now put her in the hot seat. Let's dive into this unusual situation.
"AITA for telling my husband his deep voice drops during sleep are creepy and I want him to see a doctor?"
This AITA really hits on a classic relationship conundrum: balancing honesty with empathy. On one hand, the Original Poster (OP) is experiencing genuine sleep disturbance and discomfort. Sleep is fundamental to well-being, and having your peace disrupted by unsettling sounds from your partner can understandably create tension and even fear. Her feelings of being 'creepy' are subjective but valid for her experience.
However, the choice of language here is a significant factor. Calling an involuntary bodily function 'creepy' can be incredibly hurtful and shaming. Her husband likely feels attacked for something he has no control over and wasn't even aware of. His defensiveness, while not ideal, is a natural human reaction to feeling judged and misunderstood, especially concerning something so personal and unconscious.
From a practical standpoint, OP's suggestion that her husband see a doctor is entirely reasonable and probably wise. Unusual vocalizations during sleep can sometimes indicate underlying sleep disorders, such as sleep apnea, REM sleep behavior disorder, or even certain types of somniloquy that warrant investigation. Her concern for his health, though perhaps poorly phrased, is a positive aspect of her actions.
The path forward probably lies in recalibrating the communication. Instead of focusing on the 'creepiness,' OP could reframe her concerns around her disrupted sleep and genuine worry for his health. A collaborative approach, where they tackle this as a team problem rather than OP's subjective reaction to his 'creepy' behavior, might yield a more positive and productive outcome.
The Sound of Silence (or Not): What the Internet Had to Say About Sleepy Scares!
The comments section on this one was, predictably, quite divided, but with a strong leaning towards 'NTA, but handle with care.' Many users empathized deeply with the OP, recognizing that sleep deprivation and an unsettling feeling in one's own bed can be incredibly distressing. They validated her right to express her discomfort and to seek a solution for her own well-being.
However, a significant number of commenters also pointed out that while her feelings were valid, her delivery might have been too harsh. The word 'creepy' was universally flagged as potentially damaging to her husband's self-esteem, given it's an involuntary action. The consensus was that focusing on the *impact* on her sleep and the *concern* for his health would have been a more empathetic and productive approach.
This AITA serves as a powerful reminder that communication, especially when it involves sensitive personal issues, requires a delicate balance of honesty and empathy. While OP's feelings were valid and her concern for her husband's health was appropriate, the choice of language significantly impacted his reaction. Ultimately, seeking professional medical advice for unexplained sleep phenomena is always a good idea, for both the individual's health and the couple's relationship harmony. Let's all strive to communicate our needs while also protecting our partners' feelings.
