AITA for telling my wife that if she gains any more weight after the baby, I’ll stop finding her attractive?

Oh boy, do we have a doozy for you today! The AITA subreddit is never shy about presenting scenarios that make you question fundamental human decency, and this one is no exception. We're diving into the sensitive world of post-pregnancy body image, a time when women are already navigating immense physical and emotional changes, often under immense pressure to 'bounce back.'
This story involves a husband who decided to share some rather… blunt thoughts with his wife about her appearance after giving birth. As you can imagine, the internet had a lot to say, and it wasn't exactly showering him with praise. Let's unpack this difficult conversation and see if our OP is truly the A-hole he fears he might be, or if there's more to his perspective.

"AITA for telling my wife that if she gains any more weight after the baby, I’ll stop finding her attractive?"




Let's be real, this is a tough one, not because the answer is ambiguous, but because it touches upon fundamental aspects of a relationship during an incredibly vulnerable time. While it's true that physical attraction is a component of many partnerships, expressing such a sentiment to a new mother, specifically linking continued weight gain to a loss of attraction, is incredibly fraught. It seems the husband was operating from a place of fear, but his delivery utterly missed the mark.
New mothers face immense physical and emotional challenges. Their bodies undergo profound changes, not just during pregnancy but for months, even years, postpartum. Recovery from childbirth, hormonal shifts, sleep deprivation, and the all-consuming demands of a newborn mean that personal appearance or weight loss is often at the very bottom of their priority list. It's a period that demands immense empathy, understanding, and unwavering support from a partner.
The husband's choice of words, linking his attraction directly to his wife's body changes, was deeply damaging. It implies a conditional love or attraction, placing unfair pressure on her during a time she needs to focus on healing and bonding with her baby. Instead of offering support or understanding, he introduced a source of insecurity and anxiety, effectively turning her body into a point of marital contention rather than a testament to her incredible feat of bringing life into the world.
If the husband had genuine concerns about his wife's health and wellbeing, there are countless more compassionate ways to approach it. Offering to help with chores, encouraging walks together, cooking healthy meals, or simply expressing appreciation for her efforts as a mother would have been far more productive. Placing the onus on her, framed as a threat to his attraction, was not only unhelpful but actively detrimental to their relationship and her self-esteem.
The Internet Reacts: Is He Out of Line or Just 'Honest'?
The comments section on this post was, as expected, a fiery inferno of strong opinions, with the vast majority coming down firmly on the side of the wife. Many users pointed out the sheer lack of empathy displayed by the husband, especially considering the monumental journey a woman's body undertakes during pregnancy and childbirth. It's clear that the internet sees his 'honesty' as a thinly veiled excuse for insensitivity.
Several comments highlighted the double standard often applied to women's bodies post-baby compared to men's. The consensus leaned heavily towards the idea that a true partner supports their spouse through all life changes, particularly such a profound one. The sentiment was overwhelmingly that the husband's focus on physical attraction at such a delicate time speaks volumes about his priorities.



This AITA story is a stark reminder of the profound impact our words can have, especially on those we love most, and particularly during vulnerable periods. While open communication is vital in any relationship, it must be tempered with empathy, respect, and a deep understanding of the other person's current circumstances. A new mother needs a partner who is her rock, her cheerleader, and her safe space, not someone who adds to her anxieties about her changing body. This is a moment for growth and deeper understanding within their marriage, hopefully leading to a more supportive dynamic.









