AITA for bringing rotisserie chicken to an all-homemade potluck?

A Reddit user recounts going to a potluck held by their sister and her friends. Attendees were asked to contribute a homemade dish. The user had planned to make roast chicken, but after realizing they had forgotten to thaw it, they opted to purchase a pre-cooked rotisserie chicken instead.

The sister, though the couple was upfront and no one else appeared bothered, voiced her disapproval, arguing that it dishonored their group’s custom.

The user is now unsure if their behavior was inappropriate. The original narrative is provided below if you want to further explore this potluck situation.

‘ AITA for bringing rotisserie chicken to an all-homemade potluck?’

My older sister (28F) regularly gets together with her high school buddies for a monthly potluck dinner. This time, the gathering took place at her home, and she extended an invitation for me (25F) to come along.

She mentioned that I was expected to contribute with a dish I had prepared, because the intention of these get-togethers is precisely to encourage people to cook and avoid ordering food. I agreed to it.

I was planning to cook a roast chicken, but I completely spaced on thawing it out. So, I picked up a rotisserie chicken on the way to my sister’s. I told the truth about it, and no one cared. At least it wasn’t fast food chicken.

My sister seemed annoyed, and when we had a private moment she said that once I knew I couldn’t prepare food, I should have let them know.

It struck them as impolite that I arrived on the scene and immediately disregarded their group’s established norms. I initially dismissed their reaction as excessive, but now I’m questioning whether I was in the wrong.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

StAlvis −  YTA – I had to bring a **homemade** dish, since that’s one of the purposes of these gatherings. You had **one** job.

Princessspunkin −  Girl YTA. Especially it being your first time coming and you literally missed the entire point of the group. It makes you seem careless as you completely disregarded what your sister said.

You could have informed her of the situation and perhaps baked some cookies or another treat that doesn’t need extensive thawing. Alternatively, you could have purchased a fresh, uncooked chicken and prepared it yourself. It would have been more economical than purchasing a pre-cooked rotisserie chicken.

EDIT : Everyone keeps bringing up the cost of the chicken. A rotisserie chicken from Walmart is around $5.97 for a 2-pound chicken, while a raw Perdue chicken is about $1.45 per pound (according to Walmart.com and Google). I’m in Florida, so the location might have something to do with it. I’m not sure.

Big-Imagination4377 −  Info: When you realized you forgot to thaw the chicken did you message or call anyone in the group to let them know about the error and your planned fix? When you agree to do something and don’t (for whatever reason), I don’t think communication of the error is unreasonable.

Active-Anteater1884 −  Under normal circumstances … “Hey! I’m having a potluck. Everyone bring something” I would have said N T A. But this pot luck is specifically to share homemade food. YTA, gently.

whatshamilton −  If you forgot to defrost, you should have pivoted to another homemade meal. You could have made Mac and cheese or something

slap-a-frap −  YTA – *I thought that was such an overreaction,* Of course you would think that because that’s what an AH would think, This was your first time going to one of these events so how on God’s green Earth could you “think” you know what’s what.

You were assigned a single task, yet you still managed to fail. You made a mistake, it’s that obvious. Cease your attempts to justify your inability to fulfill your sole responsibility. Take accountability and improve going forward. Enough with the justifications and shifting blame. YOU are the one who erred.

Narkareth −  YTA – The purpose of the gathering was to shared homemade goods. Its a collective creative exercise. You then didn’t prioritize actually doing that. So yeah, party foul.

I understand why you might be undecided; typically, bringing food to an event is more about making a general contribution.

You likely believed you were continuing the same actions. The distinction here arises from the clearly defined objective. Your contribution of food was appreciated, but it wasn’t the central aim. To illustrate, envision your sibling hosting a gathering for individuals to display their creative pieces/art.

Each individual possesses their own unique potential, yet you arrive carrying a mere copy of another’s creation. Under those circumstances, would you honestly believe that you are contributing meaningfully to the event? Or would your presence seem uninspired, perhaps even undermining the very purpose of the gathering?

hiketheworld2 −  If you forgot to defrost the chicken, leave it in the freezer and go get another chicken. Problem solved.

NeighborhoodTrolly −  She’s the one who understands the rules of the group and event. If the cooking was a fundamental aspect then your inattention led you to violate that aspect. It doesn’t seem like a big deal. YTA

oregonchick −  YTA. If you have assigned dishes at a potluck, you are responsible for bringing what you agreed to provide. “I forgot” is not much of an excuse, especially when you choose not to tell the potluck host (your own sister) that you’re not going to do what you said you’d do.

As soon as you understand what has happened, the very least you can do is call the host, explain what happened, and suggest alternatives (“I can get a rotisserie chicken or prepare dish X instead”). Then, allow them to determine the next steps.

Instead, you didn’t make it a priority to keep your promise and then made a cheap and low-effort substitution, which you sprung on your sister in front of the other attendees. My guess is that you were trying to avoid having to deal with her understandably unhappy reaction.

And now you’re here seeking validation for your disorganization and lack of consideration for your sister. Look, a potluck isn’t a life-or-d**th thing, so this one incident isn’t something that makes you a bad person or anything like that.

However, if you consistently neglect your commitments, disappoint your sister, and disregard the efforts of others (for example, everyone contributing with completely homemade dishes), THEN you could be considered a flawed individual, or at the very least, a problematic sister and friend. Therefore, it’s important to honestly evaluate if this is an isolated event or a recurring issue.

Was the user incorrect to bring a pre-cooked chicken from the store instead of a dish prepared at home, or was the sister’s reaction an oversensitive response to a trivial matter? What is the best approach for managing expectations during family events? Let us know what you think!