AITA for suspecting my wife is avoiding s** because she suddenly “has dry eyes from screens” and needs to rest them right when we’re in bed?

Oh, the complexities of modern relationships! Intimacy can be a minefield, especially when one partner feels a shift and struggles to understand why. It's a tale as old as time, yet the excuses evolve with technology. Today's story brings a very contemporary twist to a classic bedroom dilemma, leaving our poster feeling confused and, frankly, a little hurt.

We've all been there, wondering if a sudden ailment is genuine or a convenient shield. Our original poster, bless his heart, is grappling with a situation that many might find relatable, though perhaps not with the exact same 'symptom'. He's questioning his wife's sudden onset of 'dry eyes from screens' specifically at bedtime, and he's not sure if he's the AITA for his suspicions.

"AITA for suspecting my wife is avoiding s** because she suddenly “has dry eyes from screens” and needs to rest them right when we’re in bed?"

This situation highlights a common and often painful dilemma within relationships: the line between genuine physical discomfort and a potential subconscious (or conscious) avoidance tactic. On one hand, dry eyes from screen usage are a very real issue, and persistent discomfort can certainly affect one's desire for intimacy. It's plausible her eyes truly bother her most when she's trying to relax.

However, the timing described by the original poster does raise a red flag. The immediate onset of symptoms precisely when intimacy is anticipated, especially when prior screen use didn't seem to provoke them, understandably fuels suspicion. This pattern can create a sense of rejection and frustration for the partner trying to initiate closeness, making them question the authenticity of the excuse.

It’s crucial to consider that even if the dry eyes are real, they might be an easy out for deeper, unspoken issues. Stress, fatigue, changes in libido, or even unaddressed relationship problems can manifest as physical excuses. Sometimes it's easier to point to a physical ailment than to articulate complex emotional feelings or a lack of desire.

The original poster's attempt to communicate, though met with defensiveness, was a necessary step. While accusing her might not have been the best approach, his feelings of being avoided are valid. The key here isn't to diagnose her eye condition, but to understand the underlying communication breakdown. Both partners need to feel heard and respected in their experiences.

Is it just dry eyes, or something deeper? The internet weighs in!

The comments section for this story was, as expected, a vibrant mix of opinions, reflecting the delicate nature of intimacy and communication. Many commenters empathized with the original poster, sharing their own experiences of partners using convenient excuses to avoid physical closeness. The consensus among these users was that the timing of the 'dry eyes' was too specific to be mere coincidence, suggesting a deeper issue.

On the other side, a significant number of people defended the wife, pointing out that dry eyes can be genuinely debilitating and that the husband's suspicion was insensitive. They argued that her defensiveness could stem from feeling dismissed and misunderstood. Ultimately, while the 'AITA' verdict varied, most commenters agreed that open, non-accusatory communication, possibly with the help of a therapist, was the only way forward.

This story serves as a poignant reminder that issues around intimacy are rarely just about the surface-level excuse. Whether the dry eyes are real or not, the underlying problem is a lack of open, trusting communication. The original poster's feelings of rejection are valid, as is his wife's potential discomfort. The path to resolution lies in empathy, understanding, and a willingness from both sides to explore what's truly happening, beyond the physical symptoms, to reconnect as partners.