AITA for banning my husband from playing video games after 8 PM because “he’s 38 and acts like a teenager while I do all the adult stuff”?

Ah, the age-old dilemma of hobbies clashing with responsibilities, especially when one partner feels like they're carrying the entire household load. This week's AITA post dives headfirst into that very conflict, sparking a fierce debate about partnership, respect, and adulting. It’s a scenario many can relate to, where a beloved pastime morphs into a source of friction, creating a chasm in what should be an equal relationship. \nOur poster, clearly at wit's end, laid down a rather drastic rule, leading to the predictable explosion from their spouse. This isn't just about video games; it's about the emotional labor, the invisible tasks, and the feeling of being perpetually undervalued. Let's unpack this domestic drama and see if the internet thinks our poster went too far or simply reached their breaking point.

"AITA for banning my husband from playing video games after 8 PM because “he’s 38 and acts like a teenager while I do all the adult stuff”?"

My husband (38M) and I (36F) have been together for 15 years, married for 10. For most of our relationship, his gaming has been a hobby, something he enjoys to unwind. I've never had an issue with it in moderation. The problem is, lately, it's stopped being moderation and started being an obsession. He comes home from work, immediately gets on his computer, and stays there until dinner. After dinner, he's back on it, often until past midnight. \nI work full-time too, but when I get home, I'm the one who cooks, cleans, does laundry, helps our child with homework, bathes them, and puts them to bed. He might occasionally help with dinner if I explicitly ask, but it's rare. I've tried talking to him about it multiple times. I've explained that I feel like a single parent, that I'm exhausted, and that I need him to be a more active partner and parent. He always says he'll do better, apologizes, and then a day or two later, he's back to his old habits. This has been going on for months, and I'm at my breaking point. Last night was the final straw. Our child needed help with a project due today, and I was making dinner and doing laundry. I asked him if he could spend 20 minutes helping them. He said 'in a minute' and stayed glued to his game, yelling instructions over his headset to his teammates. I waited, and waited, and then I just snapped. \nI walked over, unplugged his computer, and told him that from now on, he's not allowed to play video games after 8 PM on weeknights. I told him he's 38 years old and acts like a teenager while I do all the adult stuff around here, and I'm done being his mother. He got furious, saying I was controlling, disrespectful, and treating him like a child. He called me an A-hole and stormed off to the bedroom. \nHe hasn't really spoken to me since, other than necessary communication about our child. He's been really cold. I feel like I'm completely justified because I've tried everything else, but his reaction makes me wonder if I went too far by 'banning' him. AITA?

The original poster's frustration is palpable and completely understandable. Feeling like you're shouldering the vast majority of household and parenting responsibilities, despite being a two-income household, is a recipe for resentment. The emotional and physical toll of constantly being the default parent and housekeeper while your partner indulges in endless leisure time can lead to a profound sense of unfairness and exhaustion. \nHowever, the method of implementing a 'ban' on an adult partner does raise some eyebrows. While born out of desperation, treating a 38-year-old like a child needing rules can understandably provoke a defensive, angry reaction. It shifts the dynamic from a partnership problem to one of parental authority, which rarely bodes well for adult relationships. \nThis situation highlights a significant communication breakdown that has clearly festered over time. Repeated conversations that yield no change indicate a deeper issue than just gaming; it suggests a lack of understanding, respect for the partner's needs, or perhaps an avoidance of responsibility. \nThe 'ban' itself is a symptom of a larger problem: the poster feeling unheard and unvalued. While it might have been an extreme measure, it forced a confrontation. The real work now is to move beyond the knee-jerk reactions and address the underlying imbalance in responsibilities and the fundamental partnership issues that led to this point, possibly with professional help.

The Verdict Is In: A Clash of Controllers and Responsibilities!

The comments section for this post was, predictably, a whirlwind of strong opinions, reflecting the deeply divided feelings about gaming in relationships and the fairness of household labor. Many users sided with the original poster, declaring them 'NTA' for reaching their breaking point. They emphasized the unfairness of one partner acting as a single parent while the other shirks respons their partner's needs and the fundamental partnership issues that led to this point, possibly with professional help. \nOn the other hand, a significant number of commenters felt the 'ban' was a problematic approach, leaning towards 'YTA' or 'ESH'. These users argued that while the husband's behavior was certainly an issue, 'banning' an adult is controlling and infantilizing, which only exacerbates the problem. They suggested that effective communication, setting boundaries together, or even couples therapy would be more constructive long-term solutions than unilateral dictates.

This AITA post serves as a stark reminder that relationships require effort from both sides. While the original poster's frustration is entirely valid, the