AITA for draining my elderly mother’s reverse mortgage into crypto I control, then telling her the bank foreclosed because she ‘forgot’ payments?

Oh boy, do we have a doozy for you today! This story dives deep into the murky waters of family trust, financial desperation, and the shocking lengths some individuals will go to, even at the expense of their own kin. When a Reddit post starts with a title like this one, you just know it's going to be a rollercoaster of emotions and ethical quandaries that will leave you absolutely floored. It truly makes you question the very definition of 'family.'

Today's tale features an elderly mother and a son who, to put it mildly, has made some questionable life choices. The core of the conflict revolves around a reverse mortgage, cryptocurrency, and a heartbreaking deception. Get ready to have your moral compass vigorously tested as we unpack this truly wild scenario. This is one you definitely won't want to miss, folks.

"AITA for draining my elderly mother's reverse mortgage into crypto I control, then telling her the bank foreclosed because she 'forgot' payments?"

I (38M) have been struggling financially for years. My career as a 'disruptor' in the tech space hasn't quite taken off, and my investments have been… volatile, to say the least. My mother, Eleanor (78F), lives in the house I grew up in. She took out a reverse mortgage on it a few years ago to help with living expenses and some medical bills, as her pension isn't much. I've always been her primary caretaker, handling her finances and appointments, as she's gotten a bit forgetful, especially with numbers. This trust is something I know I've leveraged, and it's where things get complicated.

About six months ago, I was deep into a new crypto project. I truly believed it was the next big thing, a guaranteed moonshot. I needed significant capital to buy in early and maximize returns. I saw my mother's reverse mortgage funds, sitting there in her account, largely untouched. I rationalized that if I invested it, I could make a fortune for both of us, secure her future, and mine. I had access to her accounts, so it wasn't hard to move the funds.

I transferred the bulk of the reverse mortgage funds, nearly $150,000, into a crypto exchange account that I solely controlled. I bought a significant amount of the coin, convinced it would skyrocket. The first few weeks were promising; it went up a bit, reinforcing my belief. I even fantasized about telling Mom, presenting her with a new, worry-free life. However, the market turned sharply shortly after. The project rug-pulled, the coin tanked, and within two months, almost all of the $150,000 was gone. I tried to recover, putting in more of my own savings, but it was a lost cause.

The real estate market also took a downturn, and the bank informed us that due to falling property values and the original terms of the reverse mortgage, there was a deficit. They initiated foreclosure proceedings. This was my worst nightmare come true. Instead of admitting what I'd done, I panicked. Knowing Mom's memory issues, I decided to tell her that she must have 'forgotten' to make a crucial series of payments or respond to notices, causing the foreclosure. I painted it as an unfortunate consequence of her declining memory, a sad but unavoidable situation.

She's heartbroken and confused, blaming herself for not remembering. My sister, Sarah, who lives out of state, is furious with me for 'letting this happen' and says I should have been more vigilant. She's talking about hiring lawyers to fight the bank, which terrifies me because they'll uncover everything. I feel terrible seeing Mom like this, but I don't know how to fix it without destroying our family and potentially facing legal action. Am I the a**hole for this? I really thought I was doing something good for her.

This story is a profoundly complex web of financial irresponsibility, familial trust, and a deeply unsettling act of deception. On one hand, the son, let's call him Mark, clearly rationalized his actions as an attempt to secure a better future for his mother, Eleanor, and himself. His desperation, perhaps fueled by his own financial struggles and an overinflated belief in his investment prowess, led him down a very dangerous path. This isn't an uncommon narrative for those who get caught up in high-risk ventures.

However, the central issue here is the egregious breach of trust. Eleanor had entrusted her son with her finances, especially given her memory issues. Mark exploited this vulnerability not just for an 'investment,' but to gamble with her primary asset – her home. The funds from a reverse mortgage are meant to provide security and living expenses for the homeowner, not to be siphoned off into speculative, volatile cryptocurrency markets. This transcends simple financial mismanagement; it borders on financial abuse.

Furthermore, the subsequent fabrication of the 'forgotten payments' narrative to Eleanor is particularly cruel. Instead of facing the consequences of his actions and seeking genuine solutions, Mark chose to gaslight his elderly mother, compounding her distress and guilt. This not only robs her of her home but also her peace of mind and dignity, making her believe her own cognitive decline is to blame for such a devastating loss. The psychological impact on an elderly person in this situation cannot be overstated.

From a legal standpoint, Mark's actions could easily be viewed as financial elder abuse, fraud, and embezzlement. His sister, Sarah, is right to be concerned and seek legal counsel, even if it inadvertently uncovers Mark's misdeeds. The stakes are incredibly high here, not just for the family's relationship, but for Mark's own freedom and future. There's a clear moral and ethical failing that overshadows any initial good intentions he might have claimed.

The internet explodes! What the community thinks of Mark's choices…

Well, you don't need a crystal ball to predict the community's response to this one! The comments section is, as expected, a resounding chorus of 'YTA,' and frankly, it's hard to argue with that verdict. Readers are rightly outraged by the blatant exploitation of an elderly mother's trust and vulnerability. The sheer audacity of the deception, blaming her memory for a situation directly caused by the son's reckless actions, has truly struck a nerve with many.

Many commenters are pointing out the severe legal ramifications Mark could face, emphasizing that this isn't just a moral failing but a criminal one. The advice to the sister, Sarah, to pursue legal avenues, regardless of the potential family fallout, is prevalent. It's a stark reminder that while family bonds are important, they do not excuse egregious harm, especially when it involves financial abuse of a vulnerable parent. The collective empathy for Eleanor is palpable.

In conclusion, this story serves as a stark and sobering reminder of the devastating impact of financial exploitation within families. While the poster sought validation or perhaps a different perspective, the collective judgment is overwhelmingly clear: his actions are not only a profound betrayal of trust but also carry significant ethical and legal weight. This narrative underscores the critical importance of protecting vulnerable adults from financial abuse, even from those closest to them. It's a truly tragic situation, and our hearts go out to Eleanor, who deserves far better than this heartbreaking ordeal.