AITA for secretly wishing my 44-year-old fiancée would gain weight just to fill out her chest again, since her current flat look kills my interest?

Oh, the complexities of long-term relationships and the ever-present, often unspoken, challenges that arise! Today we're diving into a deeply personal and undeniably tricky AITA submission that touches on physical attraction, body image, and the sometimes-uncomfortable reality of evolving desires. It's a topic many people shy away from, but it's crucial to acknowledge the nuances involved in maintaining intimacy over decades together.

Our original poster, let's call him 'David,' finds himself grappling with a secret wish that he knows, deep down, is fraught with potential emotional landmines. His fiancée, 'Sarah,' has undergone a significant body transformation, one that has, unfortunately for David, altered his physical attraction to her. This isn't just about superficiality; it's about the very real, often messy, connection between physical appearance and romantic interest, especially when health and personal goals are involved.

"AITA for secretly wishing my 44-year-old fiancée would gain weight just to fill out her chest again, since her current flat look kills my interest?"

This AITA post delves into a truly uncomfortable but very human aspect of long-term relationships: the ebb and flow of physical attraction. It's easy to immediately condemn the poster, David, for his seemingly shallow thoughts, but it's important to acknowledge that attraction isn't purely intellectual. Physical chemistry plays a significant role for many, and it can be a genuine struggle when a partner's body changes, even for positive health reasons. David's guilt suggests he knows his feelings are problematic, making this an internal conflict rather than outright malice.

On the other hand, Sarah's perspective is paramount. She embarked on a health journey, achieved her goals, and undoubtedly feels proud and healthier. The idea that her partner secretly wishes she would reverse some of that progress, specifically to alter a part of her body for his aesthetic preference, would be devastating. Her body, her choices, and her well-being should not be dictated by someone else's sexual preferences, especially when she has made positive changes for herself.

The ethical dilemma here isn't just about what David *thinks*, but the potential impact if those thoughts ever surfaced. While thoughts themselves aren't actions, allowing such a core disconnect in attraction to fester can subtly poison a relationship. It can lead to a lack of intimacy, resentment, or a sense of unease that the partner, in this case Sarah, might intuitively pick up on, even without explicit words.

So, while David isn't explicitly harming Sarah by his thoughts, the underlying issue needs addressing, perhaps not with Sarah directly about her body, but within himself. Exploring why this specific feature is so crucial to his attraction, or seeking therapy to navigate these complex feelings without projecting them onto Sarah, could be a path forward. Relationships require navigating changes, and true partnership means supporting each other, even when personal preferences shift.

The Internet Weighs In: Is He Shallow or Just Human?

The comments section for this one was, as expected, a real mixed bag, but with a clear majority leaning towards YTA (You're The Asshole), or at least YTA for not addressing the root cause. Many users emphasized that while having private thoughts is human, wishing your partner would change their body *back* after a health journey is deeply problematic. The core sentiment was that Sarah's health and happiness should be paramount, not David's specific aesthetic preference.

However, a significant number of commenters offered a more nuanced perspective, acknowledging that physical attraction is complex and can genuinely change. They focused less on demonizing David and more on offering advice: therapy for him to process these feelings, finding new ways to cultivate intimacy, or even considering if they are truly compatible long-term if such a fundamental aspect of attraction is missing. The overarching theme was that this is David's problem to solve, not Sarah's to fix by changing her body.

This post from David truly highlights the tightrope walk of physical attraction and love in long-term relationships. While his feelings are his own, the deep-seated guilt he feels is warranted. It's a reminder that true partnership means celebrating a person's well-being and growth, even if it means adjusting our own expectations or preferences. Ultimately, communication, self-reflection, and perhaps professional guidance are essential for navigating these incredibly sensitive shifts, ensuring that love and respect remain the foundation, no matter how bodies change over time.