AITA for refusing to forgive my father for beating me as a child even though he says he was “just trying to make me a man”?

Today's AITA story plunges us into the incredibly sensitive and often polarizing world of childhood discipline and its long-lasting repercussions. We're talking about the deep scars left by physical abuse, and the fraught journey of a child who grows into an adult, still grappling with that past. It's a scenario many unfortunately relate to, where the very people meant to nurture us inflict profound pain, leaving us to wonder how to move forward.

This week's OP is facing immense pressure to forgive, but at what cost to their own healing? The father's justification,

"AITA for refusing to forgive my father for beating me as a child even though he says he was “just trying to make me a man”?"

The story Leo shares is heartbreakingly common, yet each individual's journey through such trauma is uniquely painful. It's crucial to acknowledge the immense emotional burden carried by individuals who experienced physical abuse as children. The lasting impact on self-worth, trust, and relationships is profound, and these wounds don't simply vanish with time or a parent's belated explanation. Validating Leo's feelings of hurt and betrayal is paramount, regardless of his father's stated intentions.

Forgiveness, in these complex situations, is not a simple transaction or an obligation. It's a deeply personal process, and it's absolutely not owed to the person who inflicted the harm. Many people mistakenly believe that to heal, one must forgive and reconcile, but this is a damaging myth. Healing can occur without ever granting forgiveness, and often, true healing involves setting firm boundaries, protecting oneself, and acknowledging that reconciliation with an unrepentant abuser can be detrimental.

Arthur's defense,

The internet weighs in: Is forgiveness mandatory for healing?

The response to Leo's story was overwhelmingly in solidarity with him, a clear indicator of how many people recognize the severe damage caused by childhood abuse, regardless of a parent's purported intentions. Many commenters emphasized that forgiveness is a personal journey, not an obligation, and that no one is entitled to it, especially not an abuser. The common thread was a powerful affirmation of Leo's right to protect his peace and emotional well-being above all else, even if it means estrangement from family members.

Interestingly, several comments also touched on the cultural aspects of the

Leo's story, and the overwhelming support he received, serves as a powerful reminder that childhood trauma leaves lasting imprints that cannot be wished away or dismissed by a parent's inadequate apology. Forgiveness is a gift, not a right, and it should only be given if and when an individual feels ready, and often, only after genuine remorse and accountability have been demonstrated. Ultimately, prioritizing one's mental and emotional health, even if it means maintaining distance from family, is not only acceptable but often necessary for true healing. Leo is definitely NTA.