AITA For ignoring a coworker who refused to use my actual name?

A Reddit user recounted a workplace dispute involving a new colleague who persistently addressed him as “Jack” rather than “John,” despite being corrected numerous times. The user eventually warned the coworker that he would be ignored if he continued to use the wrong name.

The colleague persisted in using the incorrect name and ultimately insisted on transportation following a work-related journey, referring to him as “Jack” in multiple emails filled with menacing language and curse words. The original poster disregarded the demands, and the colleague was ultimately terminated due to their conduct. The complete account is available below.

‘ AITA For ignoring a coworker who refused to use my actual name?’

I’ve been employed at my job for the past eight years. I have a positive rapport with the leadership and the majority of my colleagues. About half a year ago, a new employee was brought on board for a half-year trial period. While I don’t directly oversee him, I’m certainly one of the more experienced people here. I’m going to refer to him as Ted Faro, as he’s a jerk.

The supervisor was presenting Ted to various individuals, and when he approached me, he simply stated “This is John” followed by a description of my role.

Ted: “Greetings, Jack.”

Me: That would be John.

Ted: “Huh?”.

Me: “I’m called John, not Jack.”

Ted: That works for me.

Supervisor: “His name is John, not Jack. Next topic, please.”

This went on for several months. Even with prompting from managers (during conversations where I wasn’t there, he would mention me) and my own requests, he persisted in calling me Jack. Ultimately, I informed him, “Either you call me by my correct name, or I will disregard you entirely, regardless of the circumstances.”

His response was “Sure thing, Jackie boy.”. Since I don’t work directly with him, I figured “s**ew it” and that I’d ignore him. Recently he had a 2-day business trip that required car rental. I work late some nights, and Ted came to me and says “Hey, Jack, I’ll be dropping the rental car off at 7 when I get back. See you there for a lift back to the office!”.

They were closed at 6 PM, but there was an after-hours drop box. Like I said, I didn’t acknowledge him. At 7:15 PM on the night he was supposed to return it, he rang me. I knew it was him, so I didn’t answer. He proceeded to call another seven times before resorting to email.

The initial one was something like “Jack, I’m at Enterprise. Please come and get me.” Messages flooded my inbox every 5 to 10 minutes, calling me Jack, Jack-o, Jackie, and Jackie-boy. The messages also began to include curse words and a few menacing remarks. I logged off and went back to my place. The weather was awful.

The following day, I noticed Ted had sent additional emails, which I printed. At 10 a.m., he angrily approached my workspace and yelled, “Where the hell were you? I specified the pickup time! I was forced to get a taxi! Are you aware of the expense?!” He continued in that manner until his supervisor intervened, pulling him away and requesting a conversation with me.

Supervisor: “Ted mentioned that you didn’t respond to his pickup requests after he returned the rental. He got stuck in the rain.”

I explained the situation and presented the printed emails, having marked the threatening content.

“I understand your reluctance to be in his company. However, abandoning him in the downpour was a bit insensitive. That area isn’t very safe, and he was vulnerable to potential harm.”

He exhaled deeply and stated, “Given the menacing behavior and his probationary status, his employment has been terminated. Please refrain from acting like a jerk in response to your colleagues.” Some individuals in the workplace have remarked that I am the one at fault for disregarding Ted and provoking him, ultimately leading to his dismissal. Am I in the wrong here?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

czechhoneybee −  NTA what is that dudes problem? Why on earth would he think it’s okay to not call you by your actual name? Especially when repeatedly asked! The dude sounds like a massive a-hole and I’m happy for you that he no longer works at your company.

Lady_Smartie −  NTA. OP: If you do X then I’ll do Y. Ted: \*does X\*. OP: \*does Y\*. Ted: \*pikachu face\*

dtimm18 −  Obligatory “play stupid games, win stupid prizes.” NTA.

[Reddit User] −  NTA Ted got himself fired. You didn’t force him to swear/make threats and he could have asked the company for a reimbursement on the cab-fare. I don’t know why people think they are entitled to favors (and what he was asking for was a personal favor, not something that’s part of your job requirements) from people they’re disrespectful to/

gwacemom −  NTA. Your name is John. Those emails were to Jack.

jinglehelltv −  NTA, your supervisors should have dealt with this properly to begin with before it escalated like this, but you shouldn’t be expected to take that kind of harassment. You should have escalated it to begin with though.

[Reddit User] −  ESH,. but i approve.. r/pettyrevenge

owlcityy −  NTA He was forewarned after several friendly warnings that if he didn’t call you by your actual name that you would ignore him. If he was desperate to get a lift from the rental place, he would’ve used your actual name.

GuacamoleIsDaBest −  NTA, you told him you would ignore him.

avalanchepatrols −  INFO were you under any actual obligation to pick him up from the rental place? Is part of your job coordinating employee trips? It sounds like he doesn’t report to you, and from the way your op is worded he didn’t ask you for a ride, he just told you to be there. What would he have done if you hadn’t been there that day?

It all seems quite strange, to be honest. If you’re a senior staff member, and he was still undergoing his initial trial period, what gave him the impression that it was acceptable to 1) consistently and deliberately misname you, 2) insist on transportation when it wasn’t part of your duties, and 3) bother you with both spoken and written words? Is he somehow connected to the CEO? That’s the only explanation that makes any sense.

Workplace courtesy begins with a basic act: addressing individuals by their proper names. Was the user right to disregard their colleague after continuous disrespect, or should they have responded in another way? Let us know what you think!