My girlfriend (30F) is upset at me (32M). She doesn’t want to have internet or Wi-Fi at the house.

A 32-year-old man is experiencing relationship problems because he reintroduced internet access and gaming into his shared residence with his 30-year-old girlfriend, despite initially consenting to her preference for a tech-free environment.

Her increasing lack of presence combined with his lack of stimulation drove him to do something. Her intense response made him wonder about the equilibrium between his desires and the future of their connection. The complete narrative is available below.

‘ My girlfriend (30F) is upset at me (32M). She doesn’t want to have internet or Wi-Fi at the house.’

We’ve been a couple for more than a year, experiencing both highs and lows, but recently things have been difficult. She’s constantly away from home, seldom tells me her whereabouts, and spends increasingly less time with me. I’ve expressed my need for us to spend more time together, but it hasn’t made a difference.

Upon commencing our shared living arrangement in this home, she expressed her desire to abstain from internet access, Wi-Fi connectivity, television, and personal computing devices. These are all things that I find enjoyable and used to relish as pastimes, such as playing my PS5, using my PC, and watching sports, among other things.

It mattered to her a great deal, so I concurred and was eager to liquidate my possessions, make additional income, and prioritize her and her interests. She has a strong preference for tabletop games, being outdoors, etc., and I genuinely enjoy those activities as well.

Initially, she dedicated a significant amount of her attention to me, and our shared experiences were wonderful. We spent considerable time playing board games, engaging in outdoor activities and sports, and generally being active together. A substantial portion of her time outside of work was spent solely with me. However, as time passed, she discovered new interests and activities that she pursued independently, which has resulted in me feeling quite isolated recently.

On certain days, I might spend between 5 and 10 hours occupied, while other days might be shorter or longer. Ultimately, I find myself with time on my hands, but the alternative activities don’t truly capture my interest. I’m not inclined to venture out, yet I also dislike the idea of being confined to my home alone, left with only household tasks, my phone, or sleep to fill my time.

I informed her of my desire to resume gaming, including acquiring a TV, PS5, and internet service. She reacted explosively, expressing anger and refusing to discuss the matter. She left the house for seven to eight hours, but instead of being idle in her absence, I proceeded with the planned acquisitions.

Today has arrived, and I’ve disclosed my recent purchase and actions to her, ensuring transparency and avoiding any concealment. Her reaction was anger, pointing out that I was aware internet access was a red line and that I disregarded it regardless. She then made some unkind remarks and told me to go.

I’m sure I could’ve communicated this better, but I just want to know if I can save this somehow, and still have something to do like game or watch some tv, even if only while she’s gone. I told her while she was home or wanted to go out together that I would always give her and the home 100% priority and I mean that but that didn’t matter.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

[Reddit User] −  Ok so my first question is what the f**k dude

iSoReddit −  That like saying she doesn’t want running water. Are you sure this relationship is for you? Do you want running water in your home?

2SadSlime −  I’m going to breeze past her nonsensical “no internet” bs and ask where she is going on these all day outings. Does she tell you her plans/keep in touch when she’s gone? Why are you never invited to join her?

DarmokTheNinja −  What are you getting out of this relationship?

floridorito −  No internet and no tv? What do you sit and look at? And what year is it where you are? Your GF does not seem reasonable in the least, so no, I don’t think you can “make this work,” nor should you want to.

frostybinch −  Op this will shock you but there are a million attractive outdoorsy girls out there who will let you have access to technology and not freak out when you play a videogame like shes your boomer grandma and they probably wont ignore you either

PiperGraceB −  Considering: She rarely shares where she is or where she goes.. And: she told me she didn’t want to have internet, Wi-Fi, a tv, or a computer. Maybe your gf’s in a cult?

Manners2210 −  God knows why you agreed to this, you’re an equal partner…don’t lose yourself appeasing someone. I get sacrificing but dammit man, you just rolled over and these are the consequences.

It’s hard to say if the relationship can be saved. It will depend on how willing she is to compromise, but you need to be firm. If she continues to demand no internet, games, or TV, then you need to consider what you want.

7thatsanope −  Can I make this work? Why do you *want* to make this work? And why did you agree to this nonsense in the first place? That wasn’t a compromise, that was time travel back to the 1940s.

Are you permitted to use a smartphone, I’m just curious? Or are you limited to a phone without internet access? If you have a phone that connects to the internet, how does she feel about that? Does she also have internet access on her phone?

WastelandMama −  I read this post & your other post. Comments, too. She’s a**sive, controlling, and shady AF. You aren’t a person to her. You’re her pet. Her pet she screams at, neglects & seemingly enjoys treating like crap.

She is definitely being unfaithful to you. I’m absolutely sure of it, pal. It’s a new year, which means it’s time to begin anew. Life is too fleeting to spend precious years with someone who is unstable. You’ll see that it will also alleviate your depression. I’m willing to bet that it will.

This scenario underscores how vital negotiation and empathy are within partnerships. Is her refusal to have internet access justifiable given our current reliance on technology, or does his choice to bring technology back into the home suggest that he feels something is lacking? What steps should they take to resolve this? Offer your suggestions in the comments!