My (22f) Husband (29M) keeps telling me to come to Reddit about our arguments. so here I am. Do all men feel how my husband feel?

A new mom turned to Reddit to express the difficulties she’s facing in her marriage. She conveys a sense of being undervalued and burdened while trying to raise their baby, take care of the housework, and deal with her husband’s ideas about traditional roles and the importance of deference.

Though she tries, her husband still finds fault and only shows affection when she lives up to his expectations. She is seeking candid feedback, which her husband will also see.

‘ My (22f) Husband (29M) keeps telling me to come to Reddit about our arguments. so here I am. Do all men feel how my husband feel?’

I (22f) have been in a relationship with my partner (29m) for almost 3 years, and our daughter is 4 months old. Despite being the only one who takes care of our daughter and cleans our home, he constantly reminds me of how lazy I am.

He dedicates a significant amount of time to his job, and upon returning home, he allocates a few hours to gaming and may briefly hold our daughter. He expects that because I am at home taking care of our baby by myself, I should have prepared dinner and ensured that the dogs are fed, watered, and walked.

Refuse should be incinerated. Tableware should be spotless. The floor requires sweeping and washing. His other children’s chambers demand tidiness. Every plane wiped. He also alleges the presence of sexual categorizations and that a woman should execute these duties to gratify her husband.

As per his perspective, I am unworthy of affection unless I complete the housework, independently lull the baby to sleep, and ensure he feels cherished and attended to. Because our daughter refuses a bottle and he declines to assist with bottle-feeding, my return to work is impossible, yet I am also not contributing financially.

He is not involved in caring for our daughter. Intimacy only happens if I start it. He openly told me that he refuses to engage in physical acts that I enjoy, using the excuse that he is “not in high school” anymore. I feel like I’m losing my mind. He is fixated on the idea of being disrespected.

Everything I do is considered disrespectful: whether it’s unwashed dishes, an unmopped floor, small items left around the house, or unfinished projects abandoned when the baby woke up.

If the infant is being difficult and I’m in the middle of feeding her when he arrives, I’m suddenly a worthless, indolent slob who accomplished nothing. Since I don’t send him affectionate messages all day long, it follows that I must not care for him.

It’s impossible for me to pick between being a mother and a girlfriend, despite the fact that I am sometimes forced to because my daughter is incapable of taking care of herself. It’s almost as if he’s angry that I can’t be his mommy. So, Reddit, what are your thoughts? Please be truthful, as he will undoubtedly read everything.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

KnitSheep −  I’m going to go ahead and say there’s a reason why his other baby mama is proudly wearing her title of EX and you should probably go ahead and explore that same title and also wear it with pride once achieved.

Minute-Aioli-5054 −  I’ve read this and I want to divorce your husband for you.

sugarfoot00 −  I’m assuming you’re going to show this thread to your husband, so I’ll just speak directly to him. Dude, you’re a grade-a cunt that doesn’t deserve this woman. I’m not expecting you to suddenly start respecting her as a human, because that’d require you respecting yourself first.

A true man stands as an equal alongside his wife. A true man dedicates time to his children and actively participates in raising them. A true man ensures his wife feels cherished and adored.

You’re still a kid. That probably explains why you pursued an innocent 19-year-old when you were 26—any woman your age would have recognized your lies. But guess what? She sees them now too.

MidnytStorme −  And now you know why he’s knocking up women barely out of their teens instead of women his own age. Cause he thinks you won’t know any better. His mistake was telling you to come to Reddit. Cause now you know better. Now do something about it. Don’t let your kid grow up thinking this is how relationships should look. Get out.

MckittenMan −  Well, good thing you came here… Your husband sounds like a total AH. He is more about ripping on you instead of loving you. Yes, in a stay at home set up like this… Each of you have your roles to play. However… He gets to come home from work and have time off.. Where is your time off?

Your work is never done. Furthermore, he should be willing to give you some time off and step up as a husband and father sometimes. This seems like a very controlling relationship to be honest, as if he enjoys having power over you. We enter relationships to love one another, not to be servants. He is using you as a servant.

yawaworthemn −  He’s a monster. 

2workigo −  He doesn’t consider you a partner, he considers you an indentured servant.

thehellvetica −  and p** should be fed, He talking about himself here or.. 🤔

staircasegh0st −  Truly astonishing own-goal for the “dude with a video game addiction who got with a teenager with a giant age gap and has kids by 3 different women and won’t do chores” to think that sending someone to the Relationship Advice sub was going to make *you* look like the unreasonable one.

Do all men share your husband’s sentiments? Certainly not, except perhaps in certain isolated regions along the Pakistan/Afghanistan border.